Mama bear makes an ass out of me sometimes…
As parents we would do anything for our kids. We make ourselves look silly just to get a sliver of a smile when they are sad, we spend an exuberant amount of time thinking about how to make their lives better and subject ourselves to a large quantity of poor entertainment to satisfy them. We watch performances some would pay NOT to attend and place ourselves doing the gross and disgusting things that we never thought could be normal. And amongst all this, our lives are consumed. We become focused on family and forget the life we had before they came along. We sacrifice everything and yet we would die before we let anyone change it. Parenting is the best most complicated aspect of our lives.
I am pondering this today because I found myself in an out of character position. I lost my temper on my son’s principal. The mama bear came flying out and I was rude, accusatory and downright incorrigable. I wanted unrealistic answers immediately! I have been trying to figure out why my son hates kindergarten for 9 weeks and my patience ran out.
The reality is, it wasn’t her fault. Or anyone’s fault, I was frustrated that my son is losing himself in school. He is not fitting the norm or integrating into their system. And now, I am wondering if I want him too. My boy is strong willed, he is opinionated and only motivated when he chooses to be motivated. I struggle with this at home and now at school he is exercising his right to choose. He is so very smart. When he wants, he will blow through the schoolwork without blinking and Kentucky has a very rigorous kindergarten curriculum.
Most of the time my son chooses to take the consequence of losing video games and not do his work. He weighs the consequence and is fine with his choice.
How do you combat that amount of analytical behavior from a five-year old? And do you truly want to break that habit? It is really rather intelligent.
I struggle though because I fear for his future. He must learn to function within our society. He must learn the value of work and he needs to value education. He doesn’t get in trouble for meanness or bad behavior, it is truly his defiant lack of motivation that is torturing my household. (When one of the kids is in trouble it is a sucky day for everyone.)
I wonder what I can do to change his attitude toward school. He hates going and it is a fight to bring him there every day. I struggle with the idea of homeschool but I am not sure that would solve anything, long term.
It is the reality that our lives are deeply affected by the public school system, Sometimes it is a positive influence and others it seems to be a stripping of individuality. Where is the balance and what am I supposed to do?
I regret my temper and my rash words but I am still frustrated and without help. I need a solution and I am at a loss of where to find it.
This topic fits with today’s daily prompt although it is not my biggest regret it is what I regret today and it was very childlike:
Daily Prompt: Childlike
Explain your biggest regret — as though to a small child.
Photographers, artists, poets: show us CHILDLIKE.
Check out some other great responses here:
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