We don’t eat the Kitty!!!!

 So there are many things I say, that before children came into my life, I never thought would come out of my mouth. This is very normal and something I read about often, but my kids seem to have shocked me far more than what I read about. It all started with my daughter as a toddler: I have two dogs and four outside cats, but when my daughter was three, we only had one dog and one cat. My daughter always wanted the cat to come inside and I responded kindly that if he would take a bath without scratching me he could live inside like the dog.  Never in a thousand years would I have thought about what she decided to do. She was and still is a problem solver and never just takes no for an answer. One day when she was three she was particularly cheerful and very self-entertained with her dress up and style toys, then she went quiet and we all know that a quiet three year old is scary. I started searching for her in every room. I didn’t find her and my panic grew! Then, I hear it;  the bathroom toilet lid closes hard and loud. I started running to see what is going on and I see her hand on the flusher smiling. I bent down and put her hands in mine and say, “ what is in the potty sweetie?” She smiles and says, “it’s a surprise mommy!” Oh no! My panic turns to terror wondering what in gods name is in the potty? And how could it be a surprise for me! Then I heard it; The faint meow from inside the potty! I was shocked staring at my beautiful sweet girl and knowing what was inside the potty that she was about to flush! I looked straight into her beautiful brown eyes and said, “Is there a kitty in the potty Sweetie?” She looked genuinely disappointed that I ruined her surprise. And said pouting, “Yes mommy but I am not ready to show you!” What are your plans I thought, why on earth would you flush the kitty and think I would like it! I have raised a beautiful girl who has a very warped sense of what is right. I am in full blown mommy meltdown as I carefully lift the lid of the potty to reveal a very wet and angry kitty. The cat jumps out clawing and scratching for his life and runs straight out the door meowing and hissing all the way. I look at the potty and my very sad baby not sure of what to do next, then I see it, a bar of soap in the potty. I am like, ok the cat was weird but now a bar of soap too. What on earth is going on here? So I hesitantly bend down to ask my daughter what she was really doing. And as innocently as she looks she responded, “You said the kitty was dirty so I was giving him a bath but I wasn’t done. “  I immediately felt over come with mommy guilt knowing that my words set this in motion and she truly was trying to please me. Long story short, we had many talks about why kitties do not need to take a bath in the potty and I started allowing the cat inside. I never thought anything could top the day my daughter almost drowned the kitty, but then I had my son.

When my son was four, and being the rambunctious boy he is, we decided that the old dog couldn’t handle him and it was time for a puppy that could play with the boy.  We had already accumulated more cats from a stray that had a litter but that is another story.  The puppy was awesome and a perfect fit for our boy and the girl liked her too. The old dog was happy to be left only finally and our family seemed complete, but the puppy had trouble with the cats. The puppy is named Butters because she is so clumsy. It seems like everyday since we got her I have the same conversation with Butters and it goes like this: we don’t eat the kitty! Butters always objects by widening her mouth and whining while putting the cat’s head in her mouth! Surprisingly the cat doesn’t seem to mind…. Don’t eat the kitty!!!!!

Well, my son witnesses this often and I really didn’t think it would have an adverse effect on him, but it seems I was wrong. One day I was cooking dinner and the boy was being especially quiet so I decided to seek him out and see why, ominous music started playing in my head as I searched for him. Then, I saw him with the Kitty inside on the couch with Butters sitting curiously beside him as if she was cheering him on. His mouth is open wider than I have ever seen it and he was trying to put the cat’s head in his mouth. The cat is sitting quietly letting this scenario happen as the boy tries desperately to put the cat’s head in his mouth. I say bewildered, “what on earth are you doing, why just why? He looks up smiling innocently, “ I just wanted to see why Butters does this everyday.” I was shocked and confused. I am like What!? So I say it to him in the same voice I say it to the dog as I pick up the cat to put him back outside, “We don’t eat the kitty”

Poor Cats!